This is a work in progress.
Mary Johnson, Lynne Jennings and I performed this in Balboa Park, San Diego.
My plan is to re-write the play and build a one man show. All I have to do is find the gophers. That's the trouble with gophers.
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The Trouble With Gophers

Meantime, here is a rap song that shows their true purpose:

What a life we gophers lead, searching for our food.
In our world of UPS and DOWNS, WE’VE GOT ATTITUDE!
My face might wear a toothy smile, perhaps a wretched frown.
I never know what’s coming up, nor quite what’s going down.
UP ... and DOWN, UP ... and DOWN
UP ... and DOWN, UP ... and DOWN

I’m ready to be happy, to have fun, be like a clown,
but sometimes you will see me with my mouth turned upside down
We look for seeds and bulbs and grain, for dandelions and shoots,
We’re always UP for buttercups and way, way DOWN for roots.
UP ... and DOWN, UP ... and DOWN
UP ... and DOWN, UP ... and DOWN

Watch this space ...